Here, there, and somewhere else

2008-2009

Monday, April 06, 2009

What a year. Countless unexpected things have happened since I came back to the Philippines on March 29, 2008.

First, there was film school. I thought I could not go on without trying to face my frustrations. Others wondered why I had to enrol as a non-credit film student when I have just obtained a diploma from what is said to be the finest university in Asia. Well, I guess it is not about what you already have, but about what you want to achieve. Film still comprises a huge part of my plan. In less than two weeks, I will be receiving the results of an application that will outline the next three or four years of my life.

The world of film, at least here in the Philippines, has been kind to me. In my first semester, I was most exhilarated to win the Grand Prize in the the University of the Philippines Centennial Film Competition, indeed a warm welcome. My trips to Hong Kong finally bore fruit. I have collected audiovisual material here for a video installation piece that will be used for an all-Filipino exhibit in HK. Last week, I was also happy to receive the news that my film "Performing Naturalness" will be part of a short film lineup for a screening in New York.

My return to the Philippines was also about my family -- the film "Baad ng Pauno," said to be the first known documentary film by a Nabuena, is a tool for self-introspection, and its production was a great learning experience. My mother and aunt's wit as seen in the film greatly impressed me. Dispersed throughout the Philippines and all over the world, my family's mobility and experience have been, and continue to serve as an inspiration. I see myself filming more about what is close to me -- I feel that at the moment that I can "interpret" into moving images what is personal, what is near, what is based on my own experience.

But the past year was not all happiness and glory. It was almost perfect until my best friend, who was also my mentor, psychologist, personal critic, co-writer, partner in film, art and sin, was brutally killed, seven days short of the completion of my first year in the Philippines. It was a sudden departure. I will not forget the day I received text messages that he was gone. I never even got to say good-bye.

My best friend pushed me to my limits. We were best enemies too and most of the time, his criticisms were so brutally frank that we would end up cursing and hating each other for some silly minutes of our time. But hatred was a temporary feeling for us, for in the evening we would still meet and drink to our childish arguments.

I would offer my ideas for his criticism, and he would mold, twist and hammer them. He would tease me until I go out of my mind. He would share insights. He would offer help. He would hold my hand. He would share his stories.

He was a fictionist and I enjoyed his tales and I will, until my own departure, cherish the stories he left behind.

During my first year back in the Philippines, we rejuvenated our friendship, we renewed our vows that we would keep each other as friends forever.

In the coming years, there will be a lot of new things to come my way and a lot of new people to meet, but one person will be badly, sadly, missed.

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